When the Outside Is Raising the Children: A Generational Wake-Up Call

Disclaimer:
This post is not a judgment, nor is it directed at families with children who have disabilities or medical needs. It is a general observation rooted in lived experiences and generational reflection.

It’s heartbreaking to see so many of our youth wrapped up in crime, caught in chaos, and spiraling without direction. People are quick to blame bad parenting, and yes, sometimes that may be the case. But there is also a myriad of other contributing factors.

When we pay attention to how people move, what choices they make, and the fruit those choices bear, we learn that some lessons don’t have to be lived to be learned. Both failures and successes are teachers in life.

Parenting doesn’t start when school starts.
It begins in the preparation before giving birth, bringing them home—with both parents (whether under one roof or two) doing the work to mold and shape that child into someone prepared for life beyond the front door.

I was raised in a time when:

• Children were protected and prepared at home.
• We were not allowed to see or hear everything.
• Values were shared among neighbors, regardless of income.
• Discipline wasn’t abuse; it was correction done in love.

But today… the outside is raising the children.

You see it everywhere, in poverty-stricken communities as well as wealthy communities. You can buy a child everything and still raise someone who feels unheard, unseen, and unloved. Time, attention, and example can’t be bought.

During the Baby Boomer years (and I can only speak from the years I’ve lived), a man’s word and a handshake were his bond. That’s because he was known for his character.

We grew up in communities where families lived close to one another and looked out for each other’s well-being. That village watched over the children, even when we thought we were alone.

I was a latchkey child at just six years old. Though I came home to an empty house, I was never truly alone. Our next-door neighbor kept an eye on me like one of her own until a family member arrived.

We were taught:

• To be responsible.
• To have integrity.
• To respect authority.
• And to honor God.

Does that mean we were perfect? Absolutely not. But the Word says, Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it.

That training comes through example, listening, and conversation.

To those in church leadership sitting comfortably under teaching that lacks both accountability and love, you know God is not pleased. Your walk must match the talk. The Word may be preached, but the fruit of the Spirit is missing. Instead of drawing people closer, many of you have become obstacles to the very soul you claim to be called to reach.

We can’t save the world alone. But we can each look at what’s in our own house. We can teach. We can model. We can pray. Because many of these children out here acting out… Are just crying out by any means necessary. Without children there is no future.